Houston, we have a problem.

Ok, so........it was mid-2021, I was back to work from my neck surgery and for some crazy-ass reason my left leg had started to drag. My right shoulder also started to lock up, and when I say "lock up" I mean painfully stiff. I remember sitting at my desk at work or watching TV at home thinking, "what the hell, I had surgery to fix this crap, why is the other shoulder now hurting so bad."

I bought a Tens Unit, which is the electric massager that makes your muscles contract and relax. I had used these at my chiropractor in the past and they provided some relief, but it was short lived. I even had a shoulder massager I also brought to work to help me through the days; however, these including stretching and rehab still couldn't help.

I eventually went back to my surgeon and he recommended pain blocks injected into my spine. Great, more big needles. I went in probably four different times to get the block, and each time they lasted a shorter and shorter time. I remember the last block only lasted less then two weeks before the pain would break through. When I say break through, that's exactly how it felt. I knew the problem was still there, just being masked by what magic juice had been shot into my neck. I began to wonder if God was teaching me a lesson for all the Heroin addicts I had thrown in jail that were always whining about this pain or that pain!

The pain continued to grow and was getting to the point where I was having trouble getting dressed by myself. I was still going to work every day, still trying to support my family and be a good role model for my kids, and at the same time trying to figure out what was going so wrong. I remember going camping with my family to Shaver Lake in Central California and my family talking about me and hearing the concern in their voices. I remember trying to swim across the little arm of the lake where we always played. I had done this countless times in the past; however, this time I got about half was half was across and started to not being able to stay above water. Thank God one of my children was close by on a kayak and was able to come over and get me back to shore. Yes, there was definitely something more than just my neck going on.

I still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I finally thought (as if almost becoming a permeant fixture at the bottom of a lake wasn't a big enough clue) that something was wrong in my brain.

I was sitting at my desk at work and I had called Tuolumne County Jail to check on a probationer who had been arrested for methamphetamine transportation and was currently in their jail. I remember when they answered the phone, I couldn't speak! My voice was there; however, my lips wouldn't form any words and everything came out as a stutter.

I don't stutter. I have never stuttered. Damn it! I was used to testifying in Court, teaching eight hour long classes to other Officers, I could explain terms and conditions of probation all day long without having to even think about it! I DONT FUCKING STUTTER. Except now I was.

There definitely was a problem.

My K9 partner of 10 years the day of his retirement. K9 Bear.