Getting reard to go under the knife, or drill......

So, I was considering Deep Brain Stimulation surgery. Basically, they bore two nickel size holes into your head, put some wires deep into you brain, then they implant a pulse generator (think of it as a pace maker for the brain) into your chest and then tunnel wires down from the two holes, through you neck and into the pulse generator. That's not scary at all right!!

I spoke to my neurologist and I was referred to Stanford. I was explained there are two different thoughts on getting DBS. One was to wait until I get older and the disease progresses, and then get it to extend movement, or just get it now so I can live an almost normal life and enjoy life while I can still have control of my body. I opted for the now due to not wanting to look back and say, "Man, I should have lived while I had the opportunity.

 I had to undergo several tests both mentally and physically to even qualify as a candidate. I had to do two different types of MRI's to map my brain, I had to be responsive to Carbidopa medication, and I had to pass a mental exam. One of the potential side effects is "Brain fog." I had to show my mental sharpness was enough to deal with brain surgery and the risk of waking up confused and "foggy" was worth the surgery. These effects I was told could last days to months to possibly permanent. 

I made several trips to Stanford to see the surgeon and his team. The mental cognition test really stood out as an experience. I remember one of the tests involved remembering different faces. I was shown about 20 cards with different people. Then about five minutes later I was shown about 60 new cards and had to say if the person I saw was one of the original. Now.........anybody who knows me, knows that facial recognition has NEVER been a strong point. As a Probation Officer, I would drive right by my probationers and not even recognize them! Needless to say I got average or above average scores on everything EXCEPT that test. It was poor to say the least hahahaha!

So, once I passed all the tests I was scheduled for the surgery. I assigned my brother as my power of attorney for medical decisions. I remember telling him that if I woke up scrambled, or didn't wake up at all to not keep me alive and to pull the "plug." I know, that's a fucked-up thing to say; however, the song "One" form Metallica was playing on a continuous loop in my head. They say as far as brain surgery goes its on the safer side but still, I was definitely getting nervous, but by this point I was having problems showering myself because the right arm was in so much pain that I couldn't reach across my body, and my left arm was freezing enough that washing my armpits was becoming a pain in the ass. I won’t even get into the problems brushing my teeth. So, I was nervous but hopeful this was going to be a new lease on life.